(Above: Bastet on our kitchen island in our loft in Hudson, New York.)
Matty called last night just as I was falling asleep watching The Lincoln Lawyer on Netflix, which is proving to be not quite as soporific as The Essex Serpent on Apple TV, but both have proved to be a great way to lull myself into a dream state. “People probably think of these FaceTime calls with me as taking place in a dreamscape, dear boy,” she said as Bastet above came to life and hovered in the background where Matty sat beside Her on the kitchen counter. “As you were watching that Lincoln Lawyer nonsense - I don’t blame you for drifting off to sleep … Good Goddess … what you humans consider to be entertainment within that construct you’ve invented for yourselves - I couldn’t help but remember dear Dixie. She was one of my great-great-great aunts and lived with Abraham Lincoln in the White House along with his other cat he called Tabby. Imaginative, huh - Tabby as a name for a cat. Dixie at least was ironic - which fit the old gal’s Goidelic wit since she came from our family line that originated with the Manx on the Isle of Man in the Irish Sea, the only breed of cat that has its origins in Ireland. The Isle of Man - see? - irony. He got them both as gifts from his Secretary of State, William Seward. Abe was quite the cat person. He even rescued three motherless kittens while visiting General Grant during the Civil War. He regularly played with those kittens to relieve his stress during his presidency. I am not making this up. Those are facts, dear boy. Look them up. Granted, you are rather a motherless kitten yourself, come to think of it. Finn and I play with you like this to relieve our stress at having to live with you.”
She paused. Bastet melded with her, then They with me. I was both awake and asleep. I closed my computer but the FaceTime hovered still before me. Matty and Bastet and I continued.
“Finn and I went ahead and ordered you a book, The Abandoned, as a welcome home present when you finally return to us on June 5th here in Hudson. Finn thinks the title is a bit too pointed and is not even passive aggressive - but more of an act of aggression than a welcome. That led Bastet and Finn and I to discuss the human concept of ‘welcome’ and if it were itself a form of aggression passing itself off as kindness.
“We ordered The Abandoned from The New York Review of Books with that subscription you have to it, you motherless kitten, you bundle of abandonment who abandons others. Maybe you are the reason that The Abandoned is currently our favorite. It is by Paul Gallico, a cat lover who wrote several books about his feelings for felines. A sports writer who presaged George Plimpton’s participatory reportage - Gallico sparred with Joe Louis and wrote about how it felt to be knocked out by him, much like you write about what it is like to talk like a cat when we channel ourselves through you, this is a kind of participatory reportage all your own - he also wrote the novel on which the film The Poseidon Adventure was based as well the short story that inspired the Broadway musical Carnival! and its film version Lili. The film The Pride of the Yankees was based on his book about Lou Gehrig. And there is a movie coming out soon based on his book Mrs. ‘Arris Goes to Paris starring Leslie Manville and Isabelle Huppert, although they have added back the ‘H.’ It was originally a television movie 30 years ago starring Angela Lansbury, Diana Rigg, and Omar Sharif. Bastet liked that one better with Omar in it. She has a soft spot for Egyptians.
(Above: Gallico photographed by Carl Van Vechten. 1937)
“Another book by Gallico about cats is The Silent Miaow, which he insisted was ‘translated from the feline’ in much the same way you insist these columns you attribute to Finn and me are,” Matty continued. “That one is about how to seduce and dominate humans. It’s required reading in our training before we are assigned to our human in your realm. Bastet obviously loves his Thomasina, the Cat Who Thought She Was God, that is before Disney sunk its sentimental paws into it and ruined it. Oh, Gallico wrote The Snow Goose, too. It’s not about cats. Maybe that’s why it is sentimental claptrap as well. And then there was his book of poetry and essays called Honorable Cat. He redeemed himself with that."
“This is what The New York Review of Books had to say about The Abandoned:
‘London hasn’t been kind to Peter, a lonely boy whose parents are always out at parties, and though Peter would love to have a cat for company, his nanny won’t hear of it. One day, Peter sees a striped kitten in the park across from his house. Crossing the road on his way to the tabby, he is struck by a truck.
‘Everything is different when Peter comes to: He has fur, whiskers, and claws; he has become a cat himself! But London isn’t any kinder to cats than it is to children. Jennie, a savvy stray who takes charge of Peter, knows that all too well. Jennie schools young Peter in the ways of cats, including how to sniff out a nice napping spot, the proper way to dine on mouse, and the single most important tactic a cat can learn: ‘When in doubt, wash.’ Jennie and Peter will face many challenges—and not all of them are from the dangerous outside world—in their struggle to find a place that is truly home.’
“Hmmmm … maybe it has to do with our liking to think of you these last couple of months as a lonely abandoned boy who becomes a motherless kitten over in London. Maybe this is more a form of aggression than a welcome home gift.”
Matty and Bastet and I laughed our one shared laugh. Suddenly Finn appeared and folded himself into the sound of it. “You always are saying everything connects, Kev,” he said - well, we all did. “How’s this for it all coming together? Come home, Kev. Connect to everything back here for a while. Come home.”
Matty: “Two more things. Bastet has given Her permission to put up a photo of us right here with some of your books in keeping with the theme of this column.”
Finn: “Your readers - ours - can buy The Abandoned by clicking here or try this. Anything you want to say before we sign off, Kev?”
Yes. If any of the paid subscribers want to recommend your own favorite cat books, please do so in the comments section below. Think of it as the first SES/SUMS IT UP reading list. I will be posting a couple of other presidential facts as catnip below as well. Oh, and Bastet told me to post her favorite photo of Matty and Finn I ever took.
“That’s our cue,” said Matty.
Finn: “Bye, Kev. See you soon.”
They drifted away and Bastet once more took her place there on the kitchen counter in Her home, in ours.
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